My Flag-My Fear

     In mid summer while picking up bbq meats from the butcher, I noticed a stack of Israeli flags sitting in a box, proceeds to go to the IDF.  Without a second thought I bought one, very proud to show my allegiance to Israel and its people. A week later, still preserved in it's plastic wrapping it sat on the back seat of my car. 
     A month and a half later, as our Imam in Chief disrupts me from watching a perfectly good re-run on a Wednesday night, I realize my flag is still at rest as Palestinian flags wave violently from cars in the tri-state area.   
     I figured out that my insecurity to show my stand with good ole white and blue is not due to the state of Israel, but the current state of humanity.  I can not put my confidence in a nation that has not yet impeached the worst president since Jimmy Carter, or my safety in the hands of police who have recently done more harm than good.  
     There is so much prejudice, hate, violence, and disgust around us.  What if I put up that flag and get cursed at or spit on?  I don't want to lose what little faith I have in the kindness of strangers.  I've become numb to all that goes on, it's part of our survival mode (those of you who take the subway know what I'm talking about).  Unfortunately it is this outward show of indifference that makes it grow stronger. 
     I am afraid of watching everything crumble around me as I sit back and allow it to happen. Being numb will only cause the opposition to double it's shock value, that's something to be alarmed about.
     Before I give myself a chance to think of all the things that can/can't happen, I'm going out to find that flag and post it to my car. 
     The flag is up and I am proud.     

     The Aftermath:

     Later that evening, I have school orientation for the kids.  My husband Joe, who as always is running late, meets me at school mid teacher introduction.  After the meet and greet we went to our cars and made dinner plans.  As I drove away from the school my phone rang immediately.
     "You may want to rethink hanging that flag."  Joe says, "you don't want your car getting vandalized."
     "I just wanted to show...." I began.
     "Your solidarity, I know, I know.  You already have, you bought the flag didn't you?"  He spoke as if he's practiced this before calling me.
     I paused, but I admitted it.
     "and you went to that protest a few weeks ago in front of the U.N."
      I wanted him to shut up, but I got his point. 
     After parking my car I slowly dragged myself over to the rear passenger side to pluck the flag from the window and very delicately put it back into my trunk.
     What a wonderful world it is, when you have the right to live, pray, and express yourself with words or flags.

     What a frightening world it can be when the need to be heard overpowers the want for peace on earth.

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