It’s our anniversary.
My husband introduced us a year ago today. You
were dark, sleek, and silent. I didn’t
know that feelings like this existed. With
you, I went from my life of domesticity, to a place of fun and
adventure. I saw a world which was
unknown to me just a few short months before.
It was freeing to have a conversation with a willing participant. Even at a party where I knew no one, with you
brushed up beside me, I was never alone.
We were
perfect. Until I started worrying about
being caught, this led to the fear of being without you. From the still waking moments until my lids
were heavy with sleep, I continued to obsess about our next moment together. I became more of an introvert, you were
always there for me, why talk to anyone else?
Errands could wait, dinner could be ordered in, the kids could fend for
themselves,( but the homework could not be ignored).
You never
complained about me being too frail or too heavy. Why did I have to choose between you and my
family? Life is so unfair.
I told you
things, and you kept them inside. You
reflected me, yet I never looked away.
It became
unhealthy when I could look no further than your delicate exterior. There could
be an ocean with white powdery sand in front of me, and in your presence it all
went unnoticed.
The question remains, do I come clean and tell my husband, or
do I try to break free on my own. I’m
afraid I’m not strong enough.
It was my six
year old daughter that made me realize what I was doing was wrong, and as of today-it’s
over.
Yes, Candy Crush
will be deleted from my phone, but what's a mother with an iPhone to do?
Me, myself, and
i.
If I let go, (yes, I’ll consider going back
to the no frills flip-phone) will I ever be free?
